504 Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

You want to do good things, and once you've done a couple of good things in a row, you think 'Well gee, let's not mess this up.' But I am lucky at this point that I have something I really love to do, and it completely holds my attention. I never feel frustrated by it.

Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.

Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.

That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.

Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.

Sometimes I think more creativity is put into muffin recipes than into the rest of society combined.

I am speechless: I have no speech

Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it.... I think that the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.

When I was a comic in the 1980s, I was on the road somewhere every day, and I'd get back to the hotel, and it was Carson and Letterman, and I looked forward to that all day.