504 Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

The show had an intense comedic energy that you do not find on other shows. There's an intense comedic scene happening all the time, and that's the way we tried to make them, really packed, tight, strong ? and that just holds the audience.

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen, you see an eclair in the receptacle, and you think to yourself, 'What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.'

There are many things you can point to as proof that the human is not smart. But my personal favorite would have to be that we needed to invent the helmet. What was happening, apparently, was that we were involved in a lot of activities that were cracking our heads. We chose not to avoid doing those activities but, instead, to come up with some sort of device to help us enjoy our head-cracking lifestyles.

It really was written and geared for a very specific audience, but our comedic strength trumps all of that. The subject matter, the dialogue, the tone isn't right for most of America.

I think that you think that a certain something is not all that it could be, when, in fact, it is all that it should be, and more!

stinking from smoked salmon and covered in grass stains from playing in the park, (they) are not going away.

You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.

Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex.

I'm really enjoying this, ... Could this be a weekly series?