504 Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

You know how your charger for your phone? It’s like if you had a charger for your whole body and mind.

All magic is ‘Here’s a quarter, now it’s gone. You’re a jerk. Now it’s back. You’re an idiot. Show’s over.’

We sold ‘Seinfeld’ all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in others they hated it.

The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you’re into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.

You don’t even really need a place. But you feel like you’re doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people. Jerry: Yeah, they’re the worst.

If you’ve got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn’t your biggest problem.

What’s the point of dating without games? How do you know if you’re winning or losing?

Having done quite a bit with studios and networks, I thought if I’m going to do something new and unformed, it would be fun to do it in a completely new space and place. The space being the Internet and the place being Crackle.