117 Quotes by Jim Jefferies

The thing about crazy people; they don’t know they are crazy, that’s what make them crazy.

Do you think pandas know they’re Chinese and they’re taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

Can’t punch women in the face!

We have a drinking game in Australia, it’s called drinking.

If you hate gay marriage, then don’t marry a gay person.

Nobody cares that you’re smart and nobody cares that your kids don’t have bruises.

Every comedian is just doing the comedy they find funny. This is me and it’s not clean in any way. I could get a lot more work on TV playing clean but it’s never interesting.

I don’t write my standup on paper or anything; but I just organically do it on stage, have an idea, chat it up a little bit. I’m keeping notes. I’m trying to keep up with this world and try to bring out a special every year.

I think only things that are personal to us offend us. It’s always bizarre when people who would normally laugh at an AIDS joke won’t laugh at a cancer joke, but far more people know somebody who’s died from cancer.