149 Quotes by Jimmy Carr

I’m not worried about the Third World War. That’s the Third World’s Problem.

All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I’m no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.

I don’t think it’s any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and ‘manned up’ in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I’m not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.

It’s so clear cut with a comedian – you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don’t. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.

If I’m at home for the weekend – and that is almost never – I tend to get twitchy at about eight o’clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don’t know what to do with myself.