661 Quotes by Jimmy Fallon

There are reports that Kim Jong Un climbed North Korea’s highest mountain. Kim Jong Un said all it took to climb that mountain was hard work, determination, and lying about climbing that mountain.

During an interview, former President George W. Bush discussed his painting hobby and said, ‘Never paint your wife or your mother.’ Then he added, ‘Because it’s almost impossible to get the paint out of their hair.’

It’s something I worry about when I’m working out. I don’t want to get too fit. Because I don’t want the new DaVinci of this Millennium to say, “You. I have found my muse. I have to sculpt you.”

I’d do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memorizing the moves to Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It.’

You’re sitting there, with your wife and your baby and your smiling dog, and you’re watching Real Housewives getting into fistfights on TV. And you go, ‘How great is my life? I’m so happy right now.’

Hillary Clinton was actually inducted into the Irish American Hall of Fame yesterday. Hillary said she’s very proud of her Irish heritage or her Italian heritage or her Asian heritage. Whatever it takes to seal the deal with you guys. I’ve got to get into that Oval Office.

President Obama is launching a new $6 billion space policy that will ultimately take astronauts to Mars. Of course, it’s $6 billion and $45 if the astronauts have a carry-on.

Thank you, people who say ‘Wow, you’re really photogenic,’ for not saying what you really mean: ‘Wow, you’re really ugly in person.’

In a speech in Texas, Donald Trump called Hillary Clinton ‘easily the worst Secretary of State in the history of our country.’ When asked what he based that on, Trump said, ‘I heard ME say it just now. So it’s gotta be true.’