661 Quotes by Jimmy Fallon

Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.

According to a new survey, almost half of the voters in Ohio, Florida, and Pennsylvania say that they do not trust Hillary Clinton. Republicans immediately got together and said, ‘OK, this is a huge opportunity for us. How are we going to screw it up?’

I didn’t act like I was there. I just got into the story.

It’s Friday. That’s one reason to celebrate. Also, it’s the first day in a long time when no one declared they’re running for president.

I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I’m really rooting for the Red Sox.

People are being really picky about the upcoming election. I read that Americans do not want the next president to be a first-term senator, be over 65, or have a former president in the family. Then the Secret Service said, ‘Hey, whoever slips through slips through. No promises.’

No-one gets beaten to death quite like Hilary Swank.

This week Biden said that he will decide on a potential 2016 presidential campaign by the spring or the summer. Then he said, ‘Whichever comes first.’

Happy birthday to Arnold Palmer, who turned 82. That’s 41 years iced tea and 41 years lemonade.