661 Quotes by Jimmy Fallon

A clothing company is making T-shirts inspired by Bernie Sanders with messages like ‘Feel the Bern.’ They were gonna make them for Lincoln Chafee too, but no one wants to wear a shirt that says ‘Feel the Chafee.’

Yesterday President Obama traveled to Jamaica, where he will meet with students and Caribbean leaders. Jamaica’s such a beautiful place, Obama says he can’t wait to just take it all in, hold it for several seconds, and then exhale.

Ben Carson actually lost a tooth. Which explains why he said that under his leadership, Americans would be entitled to ‘life, liberty, and the purthuit of happineth.’

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is going to Israel. He’s going to be pretty disappointed when he finds out the Gaza Strip isn’t a steak.

Jeb Bush’s brother Neil said that their mother has ‘come around’ to the idea of Jeb running for president in 2016. Because if there’s anything that says you’re qualified to be president, it’s your own mom saying, ‘I guess you could do it.’

I saw that Donald Trump is selling his penthouse suite at the Trump Park Avenue building here in New York City for $21 million. When asked why he’s selling it now, Trump said ‘Hey, Americans seem to be buying everything else I’m selling, so why not strike while the iron’s hot.’

In New York, there are so many potholes, they’re like craters on the moon. That’s another traffic thing.

The White House is apparently pushing to create more Latino-themed landmarks. Now that’s in addition to our current Latino-themed landmark, California.

Donald Trump’s not backing down. Yesterday he said he doesn’t need to be lectured by the other Republican candidates, who he says have no business running for president. Not to be confused with Donald Trump, who ran for president and now has no business.