64 Quotes by Jimmy Kimmel

What I said about Pistons fans during halftime was a joke, nothing more. If I offended anyone, I'm sorry. Clearly, over the past 10 years, we in L.A. have taken a commanding lead in post-game riots. If the Lakers win, I plan to overturn my own car.

What would be cool is if you avenged a rapper,

I still love comic books. When you have a kid, that's an excuse to keep reading all the comic books.

You don't need to exorcise your personal demons onstage.

When you know someone you can make a little more fun of them without them getting offended.

What did you make last year - $350?

At the Emmys, you've got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don't have that at the Oscars. At the Oscars, you have people who are used to having 40 takes.

Real emotion is good - or doing a good job of faking real emotion.

Oh, great, ... Three people beating me up. Maybe it isn't such a great idea.