619 Quotes by Joan Rivers

You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.

Never admit that your back goes out more than you do

A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: 'Run your own race, put on your blinders.'

I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done You can tune me out, you can click me off, it's OK. I am not going to bow to political correctness. But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party.

I never dwell on what happened. You can't change it. Move forward. Don't waste your energy on being angry at something that somebody did six months ago or a year ago. It's over. Done. Move forward.

Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.

You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.

I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.