619 Quotes by Joan Rivers

I will only praise someone who can’t take anything away from me.

I’ve learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you’re working with, when the chips are down, it’s all about business.

I’m sure some of you are wondering whether my breasts are real. Let me just explain to you. This one is, this one isn’t.

I’ll lie still for a lot of things – but sex isn’t one of them.

The only good thing about age is that sooner or later all of the SOBs who dumped you are going to die.

I love Katy Perry! She's very charming.

It's feast or famine in showbiz.

I just love acting.

I was a Brownie Scout mother.