88 Quotes by Joe Lycett

I've developed a fun text when a friend has just had a baby. I ask a classic question: 'Are you sleeping?' The reply is inevitably that they aren't, they're getting a few hours here and there, they're exhausted. It's then when I swoop in: 'It'll all be worth it when they're softly stroking your hair as you slip into oblivion.'

World domination was never the plan.

As a child, I used to bite my toenails, which is grim. I can still do it.

I love painting. I love writing. I love creating and being around people who are creating.

I've got really into gardening.

I used to sing classical music to the flowers in the garden and imagine they were all different parts of the orchestra. It used to really annoy the neighbours.

Life is hard. There's parking fines, PPI, the Kardashians - it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed.

When you're going into companies and you're secret filming, I didn't realise the amount of protection that you need legally before you can do just the slightest thing.

I'm so British and polite that creating a scene or being confrontational is so not my vibe.