143 Quotes by John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic

As if our lives weren't tattoos.

Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's there.

The question isn't 'What's the point?' The question is: What *is* a point?

It's theorized that Robert Burns' famous phrase 'man's inhumanity to man' derives from an earlier expression by German philosopher Samuel von Pufendorf – who, with a name like that, would certainly have had firsthand knowledge of the subject.

The words 'national' and 'security' are like precursors for a binary chemical weapon: not overly dangerous by themselves, but capable of completely shutting down the brain and nervous system when used in combination.

If God plays dice with the universe, who's the house?

My life no longer revolves around sex. Sex's immense gravitational field has finally sucked my life into its event horizon and shredded it into elementary particles.

Do not meddle in the affairs of drag queens, for you are hunky and would look good in stirrups.

Not only were romantic love and gunpowder both invented in the Middle Ages, they were created in the same act.