91 Quotes by John Mulaney

I like that idea that what I do might be mainstream. Might be.

You can't always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You have to commit.

I've done festivals in the past where I'd be a guest, it was like, Wow, maybe someday I could play Town Hall - but that'll be a long way off. So it's very exciting.

In every case, I find pre-planning noble, but not always that useful in comedy. You know comedy once you're doing it.

I remember writing standup jokes without having done sets. But as soon as I did my first set, it didn't matter. Everything I thought would work didn't work. And everything I was iffy on was funny.

Being president looks like the worst job in the world.

I'm a very straightforward person. But that's fine for a comedian. Because a lot of times you're talking about everyone else.

Understudies don't normally get invited to openings.

I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I've always enjoyed it. There's just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me.