218 Quotes by John Oliver

Economics is like the Dutch language – I’m told it makes sense, but I have my doubts.

Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I’ve ever been in. They’ve really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.

You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn’t be when it is literally your job.

You don’t need people’s opinion on a fact. You might as well have a poll asking: ‘Which number is bigger, 15 or 5?’ or ‘Do owls exist?’ or ‘Are there hats?’

I really love stand-up. I’m more than happy to do it for nothing. I’ve come to America to do it for nothing. It’s the American Dream: Work for free.

There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn’t really matter anymore. I don’t have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.

I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I’ve just tried to learn as I go.

I watch one news channel until my soul can’t take it anymore. It’s the background of my life.

I’m always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction – I’m genuinely interested in how people see things.