218 Quotes by John Oliver

When you’re dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you’re doing.

I can’t relax. I find vacations problematic.

I’m British; pessimism is my wheelhouse.

If you want to do something evil, put it inside something boring. Apple could put the entire text of “Mein Kampf” inside the iTunes user agreement, and you’d just go agree, agree, agree – what? – agree, agree.

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death.

I’m British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.

Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are ‘featuring Sting,’

I do one accent – my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American – the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas.

I feel more at home knowing I’m not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!