218 Quotes by John Oliver

There are some people who watch NASCAR for the highly skilled driving - but most people watch it for the crashes.

Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.

I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider's eye. And so I have an outsider's voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don't belong here. And I think that helps in a way.

If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.

I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free.

I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.

I find it hard in my general life to think further than the week ahead.

Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.

I would hate to meet myself at 15.