218 Quotes by John Oliver

The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen.

I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.

Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.

I would much rather America was a more stable, wonderful place. You know, I love it.

Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.

Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go.

Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.

If we're all going to count on universal service at reasonable rates, the Postal Service has to change with the times.

When you see people say crazy things on our show, they mean this stuff,and that's easy to forget: They're not joking.