85 Quotes by John Pinette

I do a bunch of things when I'm in St. Louis. I went on the Anheuser-Busch tour they had to drag me out of there. I walked into that room with the 30,000 gallon keg of beer, and I said, 'This will be my new home'... I mean, I was genuinely happy.

All I want to do is entertain. I want to get good laughs and I want to entertain.

On the set, you do a movie shoot, you go, 'OK, was that OK, how was that?' You dont know, you're not sure.

No matter what, I'll never be tiny.

I would describe my comedy as my skewed comic perception of life.

I'm one of the larger mammals. Everyone in my family was large, mom and dad, my two older sisters. If you meet a skinny person in my family, you say, 'And you are married to who?'

My family is trying to drag me kicking and screaming into the normal world. Please, I live in hotel rooms.

Salad isn't a meal. Salad's the stuff that comes with a meal.

I grew up poor. To me, interior decorating is my big-screen TV, my couch and my Simpsons poster.