226 Quotes by Johnny Carson

I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.

People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'

The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.

That would have been a great ticket, Reagan and Ford - an actor and a stuntman.

I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.

If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.

Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.

We have two kinds of air: regular and chunky style.

Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.