226 Quotes by Johnny Carson

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

Just be yourself -- it's the only way it can work.

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most of it unsolved.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

I'm not one of those who spring up yelling, "Yippee! Another day!" I'll grumble and sulk around a couple of hours, reading newspapers and trying to pick out an idea I might do something with on the show. But I don't really start functioning until noon or later; then about two I go to the studio and the pace begins to quicken.

Air Canada. That's a good name for a Canadian airline.