712 Quotes by Jon Stewart

And this, this, is their genius. Conservatives are not looking to make education more rigorous and informative, or science more empirical or verifiable, or voting more representative, or the government more efficient or effective. They just want all those things to reinforce their partisan, ideological, conservative viewpoint.

If we amplify everything, we hear nothing.

We've come from the same history - 2000 years of persecution - we've just expressed our sufferings differently. Blacks developed the blues. Jews complained, we just never thought of putting it to music.

As our larynxes descended, we were able to make sounds with our mouths in new and far more expressive ways. Verbal language soon overtook physical gesturing as the primary means of communication for all human beings except Italians. (Earth (The Book), p. 36)

If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?

Free time is death to the anxious, and thank goodness I don't have any of it right now.

Race is there. You're tire of hearing about it? Imagine how fucking exhausting it is living it.

I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance

[Hearing] was distinct from listening, which could only be achieved when hearing was combined with giving a shit.