498 Quotes by Josh Billings

Jealousy is one of love’s parasites.

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that’s lost-he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

There’s one good thing about tight shoes; they make you forget your other troubles.

Love is like the measles; we can’t have it bad but once, and the later in life we have it the tougher it goes with us.

It ain’t no disgrace for a man to fall, but to lie there and grunt is.

Man isn’t a fool for his ignorance, but rather for believing things that are wrong.

The man who has never been tempted doesn’t know how dishonest he is.

There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow’s sister.

I’ve never known an auctioneer to lie unless it was absolutely necessary.