368 Quotes by Karl Pilkington

If an animal is named after what it eats, how interesting is it?

It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it.

it annoys me a bit how people like squirrels but not rats. at the end of the day they're the same thing, except that squirrels have had a better upbringing.

Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.

To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after.

Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.

That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape.

The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’

A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.