368 Quotes by Karl Pilkington

Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don’t know if I’m in charge of mine.

I’ve heard that fact, that is you eat more than six bananas it will kill you. I saw a bowl with seven bananas in it and I thought, that’s dangerous.

I don’t really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.

I’ve tried counting sheep like everyone recommends, but what tends to happen is that my brain thinks it’s seen the same sheep twice and that messes up my count, and when I think there’s no more sheep to count, another three will come running along and startle me. Or just as I think I’ve finished counting, an elephant comes running in. By this point I’m wide awake.

If you live in a glass house, don’t be chucking stuff about.

I’ve never won many awards, I didn’t get certificates for swimming or anything.

It’s not a joke: I really do like being at home.

There is someone for everyone, i’nt there. That’s always my thing. And it’s reassuring I think.

Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain’t been back. It can’t have been that good.