368 Quotes by Karl Pilkington

Now sometimes I don’t know if I feel well. Because I’ve been in my body for years.

A slug is always on its own. It’s a lonely insect.

I don’t know any Londoners ’cos I’m from Manchester.

Most pirates had one eye, one leg and a hook for a hand. I don’t know why people feared them. If they were around today they’d be registered disabled and would be entitled to so many benefits they wouldn’t have to mess about looking for treasure chests.

I’d say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they’re meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.

It’s no good operating on eyes if your eyes are asleep.

This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren’t enough parts for everyone in the nativity story.

I’m not that lazy, but I don’t need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life.

So you’re sayin that it’s easy to send somat up to space, but you don’t believe there’s a little banana machine?