368 Quotes by Karl Pilkington

I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse

It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.

There is no need for ants to have the ability to fly

I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.

I look at life like a big book and sometimes you get half way through it and go 'Even though I've been enjoying it, I've had enough. Give us another book

Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.

Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.

I never buy a piece of art. I don't see the point in buying something because I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually.

If you haven't got eyes, you shouldn't have wings