14 Quotes by Katelin LaMontagne

Patience is a virtue," she replies."Why couldn't 'hurry the fuck up' be a virtue?

Are you even listening to yourself right now? You sound like you’re from the nineteen hundreds, not the two thousands." I pointed at the bed. "That thing has been laid straight more times than should be possible, but she managed it somehow; since she could sink the Titanic between her thighs, and still have room. Not to mention that they have this marvelous invention called a condom, and thank fucking Christ for that, since it prevents that troll from touching my baby making treasure.

Who the fuck calls their priest when their son is having a crisis?""I do, now shut up!" Ma answered.

What’s wrong with you?” John asks suspiciously. I give him a ‘what chu talkin’ ‘bout Willis?’ look and he explains. “You just woke up.” I nod. “Walked into the kitchen.” Once again I nod, not seeing what the big deal is. “And didn’t rip apart the cabinets like a rabid squirrel looking like coffee.” I shrug at that, I didn’t even remember it. “What the fuck have you done with my best friend?

What’s wrong with you?” John asks suspiciously. I give him a ‘what chu talkin’ ‘bout Willis?’ look and he explains. “You just woke up.” I nod. “Walked into the kitchen.” Once again I nod, not seeing what the big deal is. “And didn’t rip apart the cabinets like a rabid squirrel looking for coffee.” I shrug at that, I didn’t even remember it. “What the fuck have you done with my best friend?

You were supposed to be my wingman, not my freaking kamikaze pilot.

Assumptions are for assholes.

Time is precious and should be spent doing things that make you happy, not brushing those very moments aside. That’s when you really die, and I plan on living.

I'll be your shovel.