15 Quotes by Kristy Cunning

I’ve seen Arion dispatch three hundred very well-trained, powerful mercenaries, and then play the fucking maracas, as he danced over their dismembered bodies…

My epiphany has been that none of you deserve me. You can look. You can fantasize. Like I've had to. Try to bring home a woman, and I'll make farting noises while wearing a dolphin costume and acting like I'm humping each of you. See how long you can hold an erection then.

Violet, this closet with all the creepy dolls, can I—” “Don’t touch my creepy doll collection, Leiza,” Violet says sharply. “Quit trying to get rid of all my favorite things.

DO NOT FOLLOW ME. THIS VACATION SUCKS TOO HARD TO STAY. I’M GOING HOME TO RELAX. Sincerely, the SINGLE gypsy girl who can think for herself P.S. I’LL KEY YOUR FUCKING CARS if you come looking for me before I’m ready to deal with you again.

I can’t get those orange cookies out of my head. I want to go beg her for more, but I’m terrified of what’s going to come out of my mouth while I’m putting those in it,

Alas, a gypsy freak is born a monster, when a very elaborate promise is broken among very unnatural creatures.

You lose when you take time to fall apart just when things are starting to unravel around you,” I tell him in an almost muted tone. “You can eventually have your moment of weakness; you just have to be patient.

dead men tell no tales’ thing is a total load of crap, by the way. Ghosts never shut the hell up, and it’s hard to believe half the shit they say.

Why are you driving?!” I shout at her. “How are you driving?!” “Because you can’t have a fast getaway if you’re doing the speed limit!” she snaps. “And I have ghost powers, eejit!