1,579 Quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

The humanoids told Don that if he went home with a whore, she would cook him a meal of petroleum and coal products at fancy prices. And then, while he ate them, she would talk dirty about how fresh and full of natural juices the food was, even though the food was fake.

The unity in every second of all time and all wandering mankind, all wandering womankind, all wandering children.

Jesus--if Kilgore Trout could only write!" Rosewater exclaimed. He had a point: Kilgore Trout's unpopularity was deserved. His prose was frightful. Only his ideas were good.

And I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around. Lucky me, lucky mud.

The highest possible form of treason is to say that Americans aren’t loved wherever they go, whatever they do.

Клозетът бе пълен с американци със свалени гащи. Банкетът за добре дошли ги бе накарал да бълват като вулкани… Един американец близо до Били ридаеше, че е изходил всичко с изключение на мозъка си. Миг след това той каза: “Ето го, отива, отива!” Имаше предвид мозъка си. Това бях аз. Това бе авторът на тази книга.

Things stayed peaceful in there, even as the crashing vehicles and the cries of the injured and dying reached a crescendo outside. "I fry mine in butter!" indeed.

High school is closer to the core of the American experience than anything else I can think of.

I chose cultural anthropology, since it offered the greatest opportunity to write high-minded balderdash.