19 Quotes by Lani Lynn Vale

Adulthood is like looking both ways to cross a street only to get hit by a falling object. Unpredictable and headache inducing." - fact of life.

When you make sure you’re on the same page with someone, also make sure you are in the same book, and all parties know how to read. -Words of wisdom

If it has tires or testicles, it's going to give you problems.

I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my comforter up last night. If that doesn't accurately sum up my day, I don't know what does." - Apple to Ridley

I don't have a step daughter. I have a daughter that was born before I met her.

Be a unicorn, not a twatapotamus.

I had the sense of direction of a lame duck that couldn’t follow the flock in front of him to get to where he needed to be.

I started my day waking up in a pool of my own blood. Is that how you'd like to end yours?" -Lenore, period day 1.

Nothing compares to taking your bra off after a long day. -Things men will never know or understand