241 Quotes by Larry David

I’m trying to elevate small-talk to medium talk.

A place to go – that’s what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you’re worthless unless you have a place to go.

I’m really only happy when I’m on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That’s what I’m all about – people and laughter.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.

I learned the first night that IHOP’s not the place to order fish.

I don’t like people cleaning my room.

I got a Swede lawyer?!? She’s gonna get everything!

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors – the thieves don’t impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

I think golf is literally an addiction. I’m surprised there’s not Golf Anonymous.