241 Quotes by Larry David

Weathermen merely forecast rain to keep everyone else off the golf course.

I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money – this is the guy who needs to laugh.

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.

Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn’t make any sense, but I’m being honest.

I’ve been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don’t need to know anymore.

You can’t do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.

The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it’s the best of both worlds. There’s a lot to be said for it.

I don’t like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.

Millions of people are married. I’ve never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!