241 Quotes by Larry David

Most practical jokes, I’ll feel too bad for the other person so I’ll stop just before the punchline.

Sure, being a reservist wasn’t as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.

Anything that’s for free, people will take. They don’t discriminate.

I just wanted laughs – that’s really what I was after.

There are times when I’m driving home after a day’s shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would’ve been so much better if I had written it out.

Let’s not forget, I got divorced.

It’s that I wasn’t suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear – mainstream comedy.

I’d like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.

Well, as you know, I’m really only happy when I’m on stage.