6 Quotes by Larry Gent

When in doubt, watch Die Hard.

I was wrong.Now that I think about it, if I had said those words to a now-ex back in my twenties, I would probably be married right now.

When men cry, real men, we cry Man Tears. Those are tears made up of actual meat. We basically cry pork chops and steaks. Imagine a steak tearing its way out of your eye. It hurts like hell, which causes more tears. It's a vicious cycle

I want all transportation out of the city shut down. No boats leave, no planes take off and shoot a bus driver or two to show that we’re serious.

Did I just create Ben/Jason slash fiction? Do people care enough about me to even write Ben/Jason slash fiction? Do I get royalty checks for slash fiction? Probably not.

My full name used to be weird enough that nobody would ever call me it. Then that show had to become popular. Damn that show. It ruined a horrible name.