13 Quotes by Laura Steven

For the second time today, my stone heart melts. I love my friends. The old ones and the new ones. The real ones, who don't make websites condemning me to an eternity in hell just because I'm not attracted to them.

[It may seem like we're always eating, but that's because we're always eating.]

Because you know my motto: do no harm, but take no shit.

You're cute when you babble," he says to my total horror and disgust, because unlike the popular noughties rock band, cute is never what I aim for.

Don't look at me like that. This is a book about a sex scandal: did you really expect me to be a nun and/or the Virgin Mary?

As a feminist I feel immediately guilty because everyone is trying to encourage girls into STEM subjects now, but to be honest I’m not dedicated enough to the Vagenda to force myself to become a computer programmer.

Unless an old white man can profit from your sexuality, you better hide it, because if it can't be exploited, it will be punished.

What a poet I am. Like T S Eliot but with better boobs.

If the school population discovers I banged two dudes in one night, the girls will call me a bitch and a slut, and the guys will high five and call me easy while flinging their own feces at each other.