849 Quotes by Lemony Snicket

People don't always get what they deserve in this world.

Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean that it's nonsense.

I refuse to argue with you, Charles! You're my partner! Your job is to iron my shirts and cook my omelettes, not boss me around!

Nobody can teach you how to like something. You can like it, or you can pretend to like it, in order to make someone happy.

Some of the bravest and most resourceful people in the world have come to bad ends

Deciding on the right thing to do in a situation is a bit like deciding on the right thing to wear to a party. [...] The truth is that you can never be sure if you have decided on the right thing until the party is over, and by then it is too late to go back and change your mind, which is why the world is filled with people doing terrible things and wearing ugly clothing.

Xenial' is a word which refers to the giving of gifts to strangers. . . . I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person. . . . But it does mean I've read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.

Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.

It's a good plan, Mr. Snicket.""Oh sure," I said, "like juggling dynamite, or kicking a polar bear.