163 Quotes by Lenny Bruce

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.

When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business.