79 Quotes by Les Dawson

I know my name will always be linked with women.

Despite the fact that feminists say they're not getting a fair deal, women are still very powerful.

There is a remote tribe that worships the number zero. Is nothing sacred?

A square egg in a dish of lentils won't make a marrow bend with the wind, nor will it make rhubarb grow up the milkmaid's leg.

The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.

I'm the most unromantic lump of Northern suet. Yes, a woman did accost me once in South Shields, but she had a face like Red Rum.

My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.

I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.