86 Quotes by Lewis Grizzard

There’s no such thing as being too Southern.

I’d much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I’m Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground.

Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did, someone else would own the orchard.

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.

Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing.

It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

Let’s all start walking more and driving less.