216 Quotes by Lily Tomlin

I wonder what it would be like if we all became what we wanted to be when we grew up? I mean, imagine a world filled with nothing but firemen, cowboys, nurses and ballerinas.

Suddenly I burst into song: 'Awe, sweet mystery of life, at last I found thee...' And I felt so good inside and my heart felt so full, I decided I would set time aside each day to do awe-robics. Because at the moment you are most in awe of all there is about life that you don't understand, you are closer to understanding it all than at any other time.

We're giving jobs to people who would otherwise be out of work if we weren't exploiting cheap labor.

When we talk to god, it's prayer. When god talks to us, it's schizophrenia.

Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket - The road to success is always under construction

If beauty is truth, why don't women go to the library to have their hair done?

When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!

My space chums think my unique hookup with humanity could be evolution's awkward attempt to jump-start itself up again. They're thinking just maybe, going crazy could be the evolutionary process trying to hurry up mind expansion. Maybe my mind didn't snap. Maybe it was just trying to stretch itself into a new shape. The cerebral cortex trying to grow a thumb of sorts.

If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?