185 Quotes by Lindy West

Never mind the fact that coding sensitivity as a weakness is bizarre (what do you think this is-the Ministry of Magic under Voldemort's shadow government?), it's also simply out of step with reality. You can't do this job if you have an emotional hair trigger. Undersensitivity is practically a prerequisite.

The idea that we can somehow escape affecting each other is deeply conservative. Barbarous, even.

In a certain light, feminism is just the long, slow realization that the stuff you love hates you

So I was forced to go to school wearing a menstrual pad belt that had been in our first aid drawer since approximately 1961. If you've never seen one of these things, because you haven't been to the antiquities museum, it is a literal belt that goes around your waist, with two straps that dangle down in your front and back cracks, ice cold metal clips holding a small throw pillow in place over your shame canyon.

I don’t remember a lot of specifics about watching Titanic in theaters in 1997, but I was fifteen years old, which means my two primary concerns in life were 1) locating romance, and 2) not dying in a nautical catastrophe. So I think we can safely assume that I fucking loved that movie.

I used to try to be cool. I said things that I didn't believe about other people and celebrities and myself. I wrote mean jokes for cheap, edgy laughs. I neglected good friendships for shallow ones. I insisted I wasn't a feminist. I nodded along with casual misogyny in hopes that shitty dudes would like me.

Aham and I weren't getting back together-we swore we weren't, we couldn't-but when I wasn't looking, he had become my family anyway.

Contrary to what your friends’ hyper-consciously constructed Facebook updates would have you believe, life isn’t a series of discrete, pivotal, deeply meaningful lily pads. Life is a smear. It’s messy, indistinct and disorienting: pinball, not chess.

Sandra Bullock is an unmatched charm powerhouse, and I feel like nobody acknowledges that anymore because she made too many comedies for women, and men can’t stand that. Watch Sandra Bullock in action. Watch Sandra Bullock in Speed and then tell me you don’t want to frame your spouse for a crime so you can marry her instead! Watch While You Were Sleeping and try not to send Sandra Bullock a thank-you card with $4,000 inside. I DARE YOU.