287 Quotes by Louis C. K.

I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.

Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole.’

If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't.

In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo.

The part that's difficult is being single, at 41, after 10 years of marriage and two kids. That's like having a bunch of money in a currency of a country that doesn't exist anymore.

Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.

There's two kinds of press that you get when you put out a TV show: The reviews, and the people that just decide what the reviews say.

My last name is Szekely. Sounds like Saykay. When I was a little kid I had an instructor in camp who called me Shnizneckely. He would make fun of my name and it hurt my feelings because I was a little pussy and I cried. He said, 'Well, how do you say it?' I said, Seekay. So he wrote 'C.K' on my jersey and everything. He made my name 'C.K' and I just stuck with it.

I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.