287 Quotes by Louis C. K.

Television for a child creates such a high bar of stimulus that nothing else competes. A beautiful day is absolute crap to a kid who watches tv.

I don't have a brother in real life.

When you write from your gut and let the stuff stay flawed and don't let anybody tell you to make it better, it can end up looking like nothing else.

When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.

Every year white people add 100 years to how long ago slavery was. I've heard educated white people say, 'slavery was 400 years ago.' No it very wasn't. It was 140 years ago...that's two 70-year-old ladies living and dying back to back. That's how recently you could buy a guy.

I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up.

Friends should always tell you the truth. But please don’t.

I don't know what it's like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you're just a bum.

There's nothing that beats proving you're funny by making a funny thing, and right now there are huge outlets for that, with You Tube and all the other stuff online.