210 Quotes by Milton Berle

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

I'd rather be a 'could-be' if I cannot be an 'are', because a 'could-be' is a 'maybe' who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a 'has-been' than a 'might-have-been,' by far, for a 'might-have-been' has never been, but a 'has' was once an 'are.

I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.