210 Quotes by Milton Berle

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.

It’s always consoling to know that today’s Christmas gifts are tomorrow’s garage sales.

It’s rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.

My son has a big Christmas problem – what do you buy for a father who has everything and you’re using it?

Jews don’t drink much because it interferes with their suffering.

You can’t believe everything you hear, but it’s fun to repeat it anyway.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.