210 Quotes by Milton Berle

My sister-in-law found a real surprise in her stockings – my brother.

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor’s sixth husband. I know what I’m supposed to do, but I don’t know how to make it interesting.

On Valentine’s Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.

For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren’t included.

I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he’s working.

At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there’s never one around.

Committee – a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

I just bought a great gift for my boss – a leaky ant farm.

My son gave me a nice bottle of cologne – Eau de Owe.