122 Quotes by Mort Sahl

In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you’ve got to be a girl.

Television is never more false than when it’s openly sincere.

Women have everything they want, and they've never been so unhappy.

I was on stage last night, and I gave a medical report about Donald Trump. I said he was hospitalized for an attack of modesty.

Comedians have to challenge the power. Comedians should be dangerous and devastating - and funny. That's the hardest part.

Too often, these comedy guys now only care about getting on and then getting off and getting rich.

I was a writer. I couldn't sell anything, and the comedians were among the dumbest people I had ever met. They'd all say to me, 'The average man won't understand it.' You know, they're superior to the average man.

I dare say that if most comedians today, the gifted ones, were to sit down and write, they'd learn more about their craft. But what happens is they get out there before they learn what their viewpoint is, if any.

My humor was Victorian - and still is.