122 Quotes by Mort Sahl

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong!

If you can’t join them, beat them.

A conservative doesn’t want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas – except the drone.

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They’re insensitive to the insanity of our times.

There’s so much Botox around now that you can’t tell when a Jewish girl is angry!

There’s a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

I found people looked better when they laughed.