107 Quotes by Neil Simon

I feel like writing about a time when I was probably, and think all of us are, the happiest before the obligations start in.

It looks different when you're sober; I thought I had twice as much furniture.

I understand. You work very hard two days a week and you need a five-day weekend. That's normal.

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

Evan Handler's new book is simply wonderful. He pulls you inside his life, and you come out his very close friend.

Goldie Hawn is funny, sexy, beautiful, talented, intelligent, warm, and consistently sunny. Other than that, she doesn't impress me at all.

Once you've opened yourself up, it's best to go all the way.

Don't listen to those who say, you taking too big a chance. Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today.

A lot of your personality is formed before you're 12, obviously, but only a few of my plays use characters from my childhood. The more mature plays are affected only by my adult experiences.